Publisher's Synopsis
An elderly man named Nadim, living out his final days in a retirement home on the outskirts of an old city, begins writing his memoirs, a sweeping reckoning with his life, urged on by a persistent inner voice that never leaves him.
Each chapter of this novel unveils a pivotal stage in his journey, marked by decisive choices, missed loves and forsaken dreams, and actions that still haunt him with remorse. The narrative drifts between past and present, blending reality with reverie, regret with flickers of hope, a desperate attempt to reclaim what is forever lost. It is the story of a man who has reached the twilight of life, recounting all that befell him, his triumphs and defeats. Yes, he lived, but rarely did he choose his own path. Rather, he was carried through life as one might drift, asleep, in a current. He did not resist. He did not cry out. He did not rebel. Even when he loved, he did so in silence. When fear gripped him, he trembled without a word. And when he retreated, he did so with a courteous face that concealed the fracture within. The word if echoes through his mind, If he had pursued his art studies, if he had stood up to his father even once, if he had told Mai, "I love you," instead of swallowing the confession, if he hadn't been afraid... just once... to be honest with himself.Regret, he now understands, is not self-flagellation, as he once believed in his youth. Rather, it is the belated recognition that he always had a choice. If only time could turn back, even for a day.
