The Ballad of Emperor Norton

Emperor Norton is a 19th Century folk hero legendary for his charisma in the most charismatic city in the world - San Francisco. Prospering as a merchant for years, an ill-timed investment wiped away his fortune. After a short hiatus he re-emerged, penniless yet undefeated, as the self-proclaimed Emperor of the United States. Marching around in his glorious uniform, he dutifully kept the people of San Francisco delightfully amused. Even to this day, his jocund spirit parades around the city in the merry memories of his storied life.

Of the many myths and tales of his life, this ballad was mysteriously discovered in a bottle. However, nobody knows whether it was a bottle washed up on the shore or a bottle passed around in a bar. Let us suppose it is more to the lore!

In the spirit of Sir John Falstaff, Don Quixote, Ignatius Reilly and all the people who bring joy and merriment into the world, Garrett Buhl Robinson offers 2040 rip-snorting lines of hilarious verse in The Ballad of Emperor Norton.

Table of Content

Prologue

• Emperor Norton's Command

Part I - Emperor Norton Saves San Francisco

• The Long Arms of Emperor Norton
• Emperor Norton Saves San Francisco
• Emperor Norton's Theory of Gravity

Part II - Emperor Norton vs. the Diabolic Machine

• Norton Invents the Washing Machine
• Parading with the Parrots
• Taking a Stand against Exploitation
• Rallying his Troops
• The Siege of the Fortress of Oppression
• The Fearsome Battle

Part III - The Trial of Emperor Norton

• Emperor Norton Plays the Market
• Emperor Norton in Court

Epilogue

• Emperor Norton's Everlasting Day