Publisher's Synopsis
The short story developed from ancient traditions of oral storytelling dating back to the Iliad of Homer through the tales of Aesop and on down via Chaucer and others up to the present day. There seems to be no firm consensus regarding the point at which a short story becomes a novella or a full blown novel. The Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America came up with their own rule that anything with a word count below 7,500 characters should be regarded as a short story. That depends on the font, layout and so forth, but basically it means a story that runs to somewhere between 15 and 20 pages. Most of the stories in this book fall into this category. This collection represents various tales I had written between around 2000 and early in 2014 but for the most part either never finished or totally forgot about as I worked on other projects. Shortly before completing my first published work "The Twain Shall Meet" (also on Amazon) I came across several of my uncompleted doodles and half-born works of fiction in totally overlooked Word files. There and then I resolved to finish each and every one and launch them all together into the literary universe. It kicks off with "Beauty and the Beer" which is a rambling series of observations written mostly on a theme of drinking and beauty and how often they collide. The next piece, "The Venus Flytrap" is a science-fantasy love story set a few decades in the future. Humanity is about to move out into the Solar System but the hunter gets caught by the game. That is followed by my good antipodean mate, Craig Muirhead's "Birth of a Legend." This is a hilarious tale of daring deeds Down Under and how a couple of pot-addled hippies end up saving the local police constable in their dusty Outback town. The next tale, "Spread Sheet" is set in the 1990s in the dreary, workaholic world of the Japanese "salary man." The hero, Hiroshi Tanaka finds every way imaginable to squirrel away money year after year, planning for the day when he will have enough cash to divorce his boring wife and escape to find his new place in the sun. After that, "The Vampire Wannabe" as the title suggests is another dark comedy. The protagonist, Phil, a foul-mouthed outsider seeks out a real vampire in chat rooms hoping he will find someone to give him the Dark Gift. I wrote the next one, "City Girl" way back around 2000 or so. It is a reminiscence of people I knew even further back before that in a world that has changed almost beyond imagining. Then we have "Home Run." It's a black comedy that details the last day in the life of a crooked baseball coach and the dastardly plan he concocts in order to win his final game. This story is based on a peculiar and rambling dream I had and was able to recall enough of to jot down a few notes early in the morning. The eighth and by far the longest story, "Flobberworm and the Lodger" is a ribald, epistolary tale in the form of a rambling diary. Imagine Francois Rabelais joining Hunter S Thompson for an LSD trip. It details the tribulations facing the cantankerous, rather dim-witted and virtually illiterate Flobberworm, a landlord in his middle years who gets more than he bargains for when his wife's friend sends a monumentally stupid student to board with him. He is an almost impossibly feeble-minded clown who tries to complete his studies at a nearby college. Next up, "Terminal Velocity" is a simple love story. It details a brief but passionate affair between two lonely people who fate throws together but a combination of their mutual timidity and forces beyond their control equally suddenly tears apart. The final story, "The Spider and the Plate" is the briefest in the collection and by far the most surreal thing I have ever attempted. This is another based on a weird dream I had. I had a lot of fun writing this collection, and it is my sincere hope that you will enjoy reading them even half as much.
