Publisher's Synopsis
In the summer of 2015, I relapsed and did drugs again. Several other things happened in conjunction with this not too unfamiliar occurrence that rightfully caused my wife to kick me out, at which time I went to go stay with my parents for a while. After prayer and deliberation and about a month or so, she let me come back, contingent on my promise that, among other things, I would never do drugs again. I of course fully intended on keeping this promise, but it wasn't very long at all until I'd broken it and so was sent away again, with the knowledge that I would probably soon be divorced. My parents graciously let me come back to them, and this time I was finally willing to admit to myself that I had a problem that I needed to work on. I began keeping a "prayer journal," which was essentially just me typing what I prayed as I talked to God. This book is that journal. I'm very open, honest, and direct when I speak with God, because I find it totally counter intuitive not to be; he's omniscient. So of course everything in this journal is very extremely personal. I'd rather other people not have such access to my business, but I thought it might provide some empathy that could be a help to someone somewhere, hence the reason why it's printed in this book. Rereading through it, I've omitted a few things here and there that were too personal about other people, but I've left most everything in. So even though it's pretty embarrassing at times and somewhat psychologically telling, I hope it's realness and authenticity can be at least somewhat relatable to you, if you're hurting, and will thereby be a blessing to you.
