If This Is My Life, How Come I Feel Like Someone Else Is Living It?

The bills keep rolling in, the car drives like a female rhinoceros in heat, the washing machine makes a better swimming pool filter than it does a washer, the unpaid overtime assignments keep being the rule rather than the exception, sex and chocolate become easily confused in your mind, your wife keeps losing the credit cards, and your two year-old son puts his size three's on your Adam's apple and firmly informs you he is not going to bed. One day you're just sitting there and you realize you are no longer in control of your life...someone else is living it. You're sort of there like a remote control toy but all your moves are plotted by someone else.