Publisher's Synopsis
This is the funny way to approach life. If surreal humour and dark comedy with lashings of parody is your raison d'être, well, hello! This is the book to make your life hilarious.In these crazy times, we could all do with a little guidance. How does a balm for your soul, soothing and fragrant, applied daily, grab you?Have you ever smothered your chapped lips in petroleum-jelly, and pondered upon the whimsical notion, 'Oh, if only there were a mystical balm that I could apply, to soothe my chapped soul!'?Well, ponder no more, my fellow travellers!"But the bulk of my uniqueness separated me from everyone and everything. I was the worst entity that had ever existed. I thought and did dumbass things, that far exceeded the realms of plausible preposterousness. I was essentially unconnected from society. But when I talked to others, really talked, about my deepest fears, my wildest dreams, my neurosis, my faults - I slowly started to see that everyone was at least as, if not, far more bat-shit crazy than me. How reassuring, how soothing, how bonding this talk "therapy" was for me!Daily soul balm applied: For this day only, I'm having nothing to do with you bat-shit crazy motherfkrs! You have issues - get some help."Or is unceasing masturbation your unwanted foe? We got that covered too!"Are you a total wanker? Do you find yourself cuffing the carrot more than is necessary? Are you finding it harder to explain away unexplained stains? Are you going bat shit crazy from making the bald man cry? Fear not, help is at hand! The hands of wankers are reaching out to you. Take these helping hands and clasp them tightly - but be sure to wash your hands afterwards. Come to a Wankers Anonymous meeting and find relief! But if you come at a Wankers Anonymous meeting to find relief, that is considered a relapse, and you are not helping other members who are seeking abstinence."See what I mean? The wisdom you seek lies within these pages!
