Publisher's Synopsis
The heart of a codependent runs deep. You have a sincere desire to help and ease the pain of others. Your heart hurts to see others struggle. Being compassionate is second nature to you. These traits are a magnet for those with a need for constant support.People trust you with their deepest pains because you are empathetic. You know what it feels like to suffer, but you may not share it publicly. The difference is that you can put your pain aside to help others.Tip: Strive for moderation. Most people who struggle with codependency are afraid of what others will think if they stop taking care of everyone. Recognize that giving is only one reason people like you. Your generosity shouldnt increase your stress. If it does, its time to find ways to contribute that are more aligned with your needs.Codependency is developed in childhood as a response to coping with addiction, neglect or abuse. When children's needs aren't met, they look for ways to stay safe and avoid the abuse. They learn how to take the emotional temperature of others in order to stay safe. Reading other people's feelings and behaviors becomes your unique gift. You know where there is tension in a room and how to avoid it.In adult relationships you are extremely perceptive and able to pick up on the littlest of upsets. You may find yourself taking things personally as a result.Tip: Trust these feelings as your guide. They serve you well in most situations but that doesnt mean you need take action. Being able to recognize other peoples emotions gives you an opportunity to choose. If its the same old drama, let it go. There is a great quote; "Not your circus, not your monkeys that keeps you focused on your feelings and your problems.People know they can depend on you no matter what. You have proven again and again that you are extremely loyal. You know what to say in a crisis and use that emotional superpower to know how to be supportive. You have a stellar reputation as a volunteer and friend because you always contribute and people count on that.Tip: Make conscious choices when committing to something new. Remember that its okay to do less. True friends want you to take better care of yourself. They dont expect you to give endlessly and if they do then its time to re-evaluate the relationship. You deserve to have relationships that are mutual and satisfying.Healing codependency starts with practicing moderation. The qualities that your friends and family love about you don't have to be discarded completely. Every asset becomes a liability when taken too far. But if you're conscious of this, you will be able to recognize when you're over-extended and take a step back.It will take effort at first, but over time, balancing what you give to others with what you need to be happy gets easier. Appreciate your generosity by giving yourself the time and attention so freely lavished on everyone else. Remember, the true test of recovery for a codependent is bringing that loving care back to you.This book is your pathway to codependent life, why wait when you can get started now.
