Publisher's Synopsis
Be The F*ck On Time by Shagger Baffin-Spoon (Niall Ryalls) is a sharp-witted, heartfelt manifesto on how to play golf with more sense, speed, courtesy, and joy. Written in an unapologetically frank and humorous voice, this book isn't a swing manual-it's a practical and cultural guide to the unwritten rules that make golf more enjoyable for everyone on the course.
Born from the author's Scottish golfing roots and honed during years working as a Starter and Marshal at one of Oregon's busiest public courses, this book takes aim at the dysfunctions of modern amateur golf: slow play, clueless etiquette, inflated egos, and outright rudeness. At its core, it's a plea for common sense and a reminder that golf is meant to be fun.
The book opens with the origin story-golfing in Scotland, where pace and respect matter more than score-and sets the tone for what's to follow: blunt observations, seasoned advice, and a bit of ranting. Topics range from "cart ball" vs. walking, choosing appropriate tees, practice swing overkill, and the epidemic of golfers who don't know how to repair a pitch mark or rake a bunker. The author passionately argues for walking the course whenever possible, claiming it improves rhythm, mental clarity, and connection with the game.
"Ready Golf" is championed as the antidote to endless delays, along with clear, practical recommendations on when to waive faster groups through, how to handle lost balls (hint: stop wasting time), and when to just pick up and move on. There's special attention given to the absurdity of modern habits like overusing rangefinders, marking balls unnecessarily, and overanalyzing shots-none of which help the average golfer play better.
Beyond pace and etiquette, the book dives into the psyche of amateur golfers: inflated expectations, self-imposed pressure, and letting a single bad shot ruin a round. The advice? Chill out. No one cares about your score as much as you think, and the course is a place for enjoyment, not meltdowns. "Don't be a dick" emerges as the overarching theme-whether it's toward the cart girl, your playing partners, the course, or yourself.
Ultimately, Be The F*ck On Time! is a love letter to the game. It's a call to honor golf not through rigid rule-following or gear obsession, but through awareness, pace, humility, and camaraderie. You'll laugh, nod, and maybe get a little offended-but you'll definitely think twice the next time you hold up a tee box or spend five minutes looking for a lost ball in the bushes.
