Publisher's Synopsis
This is an early subset of the book 2020 Fresh Clean Jokes For Everyone (available separately with over 3200 jokes). In this volume, there are 420 jokes including:
- Jokes that you don't have to think about - bar jokes, blonde jokes, cross-the-road jokes, knock-knock jokes, lightbulb jokes, pun jokes, romantic jokes...
- Entire chapters for people with special skills or interests - computer jokes, programming jokes, physics jokes, chemistry jokes, biology jokes, medical jokes, financial jokes, geography jokes...
- For those looking for sharp content, plenty of jokes about philosophy, advertising, news and politics.
- Jokes that are child-friendly and family friendly. No (‿?‿) humour.
- Children's Jokes
- Why did the lizard sue the hospital?
After it broke off its tail, a psychiatrist wanted to treat it as a split-personality disorder.
- Why did the lizard sue the hospital?
- Computer Jokes
- What made the quantum computer so frustrated?
He made a complete fool of himself.
- What made the quantum computer so frustrated?
- Programming Jokes
- What did the exception say to the method?
"Been there and done that."
- What did the exception say to the method?
- Other Animal Jokes
- What kind of music do rats like to listen?
Experimental.
- What kind of music do rats like to listen?
- Physics Jokes
- How many astronauts would it take to a screw a lightbulb?
One to turn the bulb and several to prevent the spacecraft from spinning in the same direction.
- How many astronauts would it take to a screw a lightbulb?
- Chemistry Jokes
- What happened to nitric acid after water decided to leave?
It left him fuming.
- What happened to nitric acid after water decided to leave?
- Biology Jokes
- Why is xylem more believable than phloem?
Phloem can say anything but it does not hold water.
- Why is xylem more believable than phloem?
- Bar Jokes
- Invisible Woman walks into a bar
Invisible Woman walks into a bar and sees Invisible Man drinking. She takes the stool next to him. Just then, Invisible Man tells the bartender, "If my wife rings and asks for me, tell her that I am not here.
- Invisible Woman walks into a bar
- Blonde Jokes
- Blonde Mobster
Teacher: As the saying goes, is it possible to kill two birds with one stone?
Class: No, ma'am.
Blonde: Yes, ma'am.
Teacher: Really? How?
Blonde: You tie the birds to a stone and drown them.✵ This was originally a Chuck Norris Fact with no explanation.
- Blonde Mobster
- Romantic Jokes
- What has low life expectancy, poor hygiene, deficient vision, inadequate sense of direction, risk of going bald and high self-esteem?
Men. - What has high life expectancy, better hygiene, superior vision, adequate sense of direction, zero risk of going bald and low self-esteem?
Women.
- What has low life expectancy, poor hygiene, deficient vision, inadequate sense of direction, risk of going bald and high self-esteem?
- Confucius Jokes
- Hell and heaven:
Confucius say: Hell has no fury like woman scorned. Heaven has no angel like mother to newborn.
- Hell and heaven:
- Journalism Jokes (with screenshots of actual news stories)
- #BlueForSudan hashtag offends Na'vi people because it appropriates their blue identity
- Political Jokes
- What is a politically incorrect name for a human abducted by an alien from outer space?
Undocumented emigrant. - What is a politically incorrect name for a weightlifter?
Weight supremacist.
- What is a politically incorrect name for a human abducted by an alien from outer space?
