Publisher's Synopsis
Think your turtle's just a quiet little swimmer? Think again.
21 Turtle Truths You'll Never Read in a Care Guide (Confessions of a Grumpy Turtle) is not your average turtle care book.
It's told straight from the shell-by a turtle who's tired of being misunderstood, overfed pellets, and stared at while trying to poop in peace.
This funny turtle book for owners combines real-life care tips with hilarious, brutally honest turtle commentary. Whether you're a new turtle parent or a long-time reptile lover, you'll see your shelled buddy in a whole new light.
Inside, you'll learn:
Why your turtle hides in that one weird corner
What it really means when they stop basking
The truth behind turtle poop timing (yes, it's calculated)
How turtles secretly manipulate your feeding habits
And what your turtle thinks about your playlist, cleaning skills, and decorating choices
Written in the voice of a grumpy, side-eyeing turtle, this book delivers serious turtle knowledge wrapped in laughs.
It's perfect for tortoise and turtle owners, animal lovers, and anyone who's ever looked at their pet and wondered, "Are you judging me right now?"
If you love your turtle-even if they kind of hate you-this is the book to read.
